Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Top 10 "Don't Date" Professions

You felt your heart sink a little when he said he was a poet. Your stomach turned when he said he was going on tour with his metal band. You chuckled inwardly when he told you he teaches spin class.

While the ladies at Silly Lists of Nothingness refrain from making sweeping generalizations, we still know red flags when we see them.

Stand-up Comedians
Worst: The drunk, angry ones
Best: The angry ones

Worst: Tie! Fiction writer and, poets are the worst.
Best: Web content for faceless corporations

Worst: Photojournalists (long story but ask Ruby at
Best: Event Photographer (weddings, bar mitvahs, pet portraiture, etc)

Worst: Tie! Touring rock star and jazz musician with suspicious marks on arm
Best: Studio

Food Industry
Worst: Anyone called "Chef" or "Culinary Master"
Best: Short order cook in a 50's style cafe in the Midwest wearing a white t-shirt that smells of blue sky and manhood

Worst: Actors
Best: Non-actors.

Best: Cute deli department guy
Worst: Ted Bundy

Best: President of a remote tropical island, where mai tais reign supreme
Worst: All of the rest

Race car Drivers
Best: The really slow ones, with nothing to prove
Worst: The fast ones with bad eyesight

Best: The Love doctor, baby...and he's in!
Worst: Plastic surgeons

Best: The choo-choo train kind, with the cute hats
Worst: The cocky ones with batons and tempers

Professional Athletes
Best: Pro badminton coach
Worst: All of the rest

Men of the Sea
Best: Hot Lifeguard who loves giving mouth-to-mouth
Worst: Shark "expert"

Best: Horse
Worst: Disc

Candlestick Maker
Worst: (Yes, we have two worsts for this category): Hippie drop-out living in Santa Cruz
Worst: A ghost of yore (because dating the dead has built-in limitations.)

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