People, Places or Things with their F$#k On

This list is comprised of people or things who radiate a certain “let’s get it on" vibe. We tried to stray away from the obvious: models and Angelina Jolie and work more toward the unusual...with some obvious thrown in for good measure - like kittens.

I'd like to thank the Academy, Joe, April, Ruby, Paul, Peggie, Wine and another Joe…and God.


Rod Stewart
Bob Fosse
Prince
Pink Lemonade
Aerosmith
Van Halen (with DLR, of course)
Fettucini Carbonara
Jesus
Dracula
Rudolph Valentino
Honey
Julius Caesar
Jim Morisson
The Tango
Leather
The Baldwin Family
Nattassja Kinski
Paris
Kim Bassinger
Little Red Riding Hood
Cleopatra
John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever
Joel Gray in Cabaret
Margaret Thatcher (April’s choice…not sure but why not?)
James Brown
Napoleon
Jack Cassidy (70’s star)
Anne Rice
Elliot Stabler from Law and Order SVU (actor Chris Meloni)
Caligula
Bill Clinton
Jason Bateman (Okay, he doesn't have his F%&k on per se, but he's great!)
Lolita
S-E-X
Tequila
Pick-up Trucks
Jimi Hendrix
James Spader
Bonnie and Clyde
Clockwork Orange
April’s Friend Trish
Errol Flynn
Lady Godiva
Whipped Cream
Men in Kilts
Men in Make-up
Monkeys
Anais Nin
Chocolate
The song Father Figure
The orchid
Henry Miller
Knights of the Round Table and Team Camelot
Trent Reznor
Kittens
Jared Leto
Jared Leto having erotic relations with self in The Kill
Barbie
Woodstock from the Peanuts
Eddie Murphy (pre-Disney)
My English Teacher in High School
Bette Davis
Your Mother
Those Weird Unicorn Posters in Children’s Rooms
Billy Bob Thornton
Peter Gabriel
Roseanna Arquette
Mary Magdalene
Jimmy Page
Peaches
Suntan Stuff that Smells Like Coconut

20 Random Songs to Have Sex to (or Songs to have Random Sex to)

Contrary to the title of this list, there are only a few songs here you that should accompany S-E-X. Most of them are sexually inspirational nature and should compel you to go get some.

1. I Have the Touch – Peter Gabriel
(One of my top favorite sexy songs. But beware - there are two versions. The long one – 5:23 - is far superior to the shorter canned version. Very sexy song)

2. One of these Nights – The Eagles
(For the darker sexual appetites.)

3. Just What I Needed – The Cars
(Lots of feed me’s and bleed me’s - sexy)

4. Kashmir – Led Zeppelin
(The song just sounds like sex. Ruby thinks the song is too cliché)

5. All is Forgiven – Jellyfish
(In addition to being one of my fave songs of all time, this song is so sexually cathartic, you feel like you should have scratch marks down your back when it’s over)

6. Since K Got Over Me – The Clientele
(Something sleepy sexy about this song)

7. Do Ya Think I’m Sexy – Rod Stewart
(Go ahead – call me cheesy. But Rod Stewart flaunted it and I say hale to that)

8. I’m Gonna Crawl – Led Zeppelin
(For the crawler in all of us)

9. Turn Me Loose - Loverboy
(I find Mike Reno’s bratty voice very sexy)

10. Come here, Boy – Imogen Heap
(This a sultry, sexually aggressive female song. Yay!)

11. Tattooed Love Boys – The Pretenders
(This is a sultry, sexually aggressive female song. Yay!)

12. Magic Man - Heart
(This is a sultry, sexually aggressive female song. Yay!)

13. Don’t Fear the Ripper – Blue Oyster Cult
(Death and sex go hand and hand like peanut butter and jelly)

14. Don’t Stand So Close to Me – The Police
(If you’ve ever had a crush on your tousled, handsome English teacher in high school, who you would catch staring at you during a test and you’d get warm all over and look away quickly only to look up again and still see him staring at you and who, years later, you’d invite over for lunch and almost, almost make a move on him finally…but no, you couldn’t because you were trembling so badly because he was old enough to be your father but that’s what makes it so…but maybe he’s better off as your first almost actualized sexual fantasy - than you’d appreciate this song. Thank you, my dear Mr. O’Brien, whom I still talk to and adore with all of my heart.)

15. 5 to 1 – The Doors
(Maybe it’s the way Jim Morrison opens the songs with “Love my girl. She’s looking good.” Or maybe it’s the rhythm of the song. But the song just seems dirty and raw.)

16. Touch Me – The Doors
(If the last minute of this song doesn’t make you want to rip your clothes off, you’re dead.)

17. Rough Boys – Pete Townsend
(I have such a distinct penchant for angry, unattractive Brit rockers and music that slams in my face)

18. Oblivion – Astor Piazolla
(Sex in a song.)

19. She Moves in Mysterious Ways – U2
(Never been a fan of U2 – other than Beautiful Day and this song, with the sexy line “If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel. On your knees, boy.” It showed me that even U2 can rock sexiness sometimes)

20. Closer - NIN (Might be an easy choice but still, it kinda says it all)

Famous People Devoid of Soul

Something is just missing.
Some might call it heartless.
Or deeply chilly.

Again, feel free to send me some add ons:

1. Nicole Kidman (the epitome...I'm not saying she's mean or she wouldn't be nice to have tea with. I'm just saying "hello, hello, hello..is there anybody in there?")

2. Jennifer Connoly (she may be made of ice and dust...I don't know).

3. Tom Cruise (He can smile all he wants but he's actually an alien or a droid or something.)

4. Queen of England (But she's actually supposed to be like that. She makes soulless an art form.)

5. Catherine Zeta-Jones (If you cut her, something like mercury would spill out.)

6. Halle Barry (you can be too pretty)